Wanna be an Influencer Ninja? 5 Tips to Deeply Connect With People

I want to start this by stating that the sole purpose of this post isn’t to teach you how to be a YouTube or Instagram marketing influencer.

Not specifically anyway, the tips on this page are intended to be more general toward all your personal and professional relationships.

However, if your life and business happens to take place mostly on social, so be it.

Influencers reside in all areas of life — politicians are influencers, for instance.

In fact, politicians are so successful at making people angry because they’re so good at touching large masses of people and making promises they (sometimes) don’t keep, right?

The ability to influence a crowd starts with learning how to gain the trust of and influence individuals, and that’s what I’m going to delve into today.

We should all aim to be that person who can one day walk down the street and have the skills to draw people in with our gaze, and make them trust us through our actions.

How to Become a Better Influencer

5 Tips to Become an Influencer Ninja:

1. Stop judging everyone you know and meet.

Is this easier said than done?

Yes, yes it is — but I feel this is THE most important tip for becoming a better influencer.

Though, I don’t want to make this about social media, these kinds of influencers can definitely benefit from this advice…

… Consider how it makes you look when you’re being catty with other influencers or making judgemental comments in your feeds.

It’s very hard not to let your gut come out in interactions with others, but if you take a serious look at the judgements you’ve made on people throughout your life, can you honestly say you’ve been right each and every time?

Likely not; none of us have that kind of intuition.

… Even experienced police detectives are wrong quite often, and they deal with and observe the worst of the worst in society every day.

The really bad, terrible thing about judgement is that we’re far better at sensing it when it’s unfairly levied on us, than we are at making accurate judgements about others.

“He who judges will be judged.”

Judge people, even with the best fake smile on your face, and they’re likely not just to know you’re doing it, but also to judge YOU as a presumptive phoney and someone not to be trusted.

2. Work toward being a positive influencer.

In fact, be a positive person or you’re not likely to be an effective influencer at all.

The vast majority of people you’ll encounter, especially in entrepreneurial circles, just don’t do negativity.

This goes for complaining, condemning, and criticising…

… Even when you think you’re offering constructive criticism, chances are you can put it to people with more tact.

“When two things are true, pick the more positive one.”

I don’t know who said this phrase first, but many of us seeking to be effective influencers can benefit from adopting it.

For instance, “this logo just plain sucks” can easily be turned into “there’s definite things I like about this, but…”

3. Use people’s names when talking to them.

Twitter and other social networks make this easy by auto-inserting people’s handles when we comment and respond to each other.

There’s a simple reason why, too: We all like the sound of our names!

Kidding — sort of!

The fact is, it’s a show of respect, empathy and interest in the other person when you use their name in conversation…

… Even in emails, never assume that the other person won’t appreciate you actually typing your name.

Whenever BizEpic owner, Ivan and I exchange emails, we always start with a greeting that includes one another’s name.

It’s all about respect, rather than cold exchanges that are all about business and lacking any humanity.

Failure to address people by name shows nothing but indifference to the other person, and anyone else that may be lurking nearby.

Be a better influencer by using people's names in conversations with them.
Image Credit: Irina Slutsky/Flickr

How many people do you know who never use your name and instead start conversations or otherwise try to get your attention with “Hey” or worse, “Hey you!”

“Hay is for horses.”

4. Stop making statements, start asking questions.

A lot of newbies to the game think their job as an influencer is to share their opinions and knowledge with people.

This is true, but only to an extent.

See, learning is so much sweeter when it’s personalised to the recipient.

Ask people what their most burning problem is and they’ll likely tell you…

… Help them solve it, whatever it might be — an unanswered question or an issue with the tax man — and they’ll instantly give you respect.

“Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day; teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

Drone on and on like a narcissistic idiot without a true purpose and you’re likely to be regarded as such.

5. True influencers understand there’s no good outcomes from arguing.

Finally, to be a good influencer you need to stop arguing with people.

There’s a difference between debating and arguing, too.

When an argument ensues, the ego comes out and real communications ceases.

I don’t trust people who argue with everyone, about everything…

… I bet you don’t either, whether you’re conscious of it or not.

You can’t count on someone who gets aggressive and angry when they disagree with you, or you with them.

Debating is disagreeing without ego — where you talk, they listen, and respond when you’re done — and vice versa.

Arguing is heated and generally leads to unfair personal and professional negative criticism.

“A disagreement is when both parties express their opinions without getting emotional. It’s just that they may see things differently. An argument involves being hurt or angry that the other will not see things the same way.”

Arguing makes you look like a narcissistic baby and not worthy of the title of influencer ninja!

Have any tips and tricks of your own?

Go ahead and leave a comment and tell everyone your best tip for becoming an influencer ninja.

Main Image Credit: Chris Zerbes/Flickr